Working on Why I Self Sabatoge

I woke up feeling pretty good after all the ice-cream I ate. I was excited to find out why I couldn't stop myself from eating most of it. I started with some deep breathing exercises and ran a few sprints. That loosens up all the junk in the body to let it go! I went back to my step dad since that's when I remember eating ice-cream like I was in a contest to win more ice-cream. As I asked what is causing me to eat this junk like I'm a wild animal. Memories of my step dad taking off with all the money my mom put away for me. Could this be the problem to my addictions to food and my bloating looking like I'm 6 months pregnant? If I don't eat junk food anymore what would I do? I thought about it and I would find a new hobby. Is this why I support men and give them my money. This could clean up a lot of my junk.

I started working on myself telling my mind and my stomach they are functioning at 100%. My dad no longer has control over my eating addictions. Everything in the way I release it and let it go. I said this about 8 times before I felt lighter. My mind feels clearer and I'm not having to search for words. The words just come to me. Everything feels easier.

I continued to heal myself by sending love and forgiveness to my stomach. Next, I test the stomach and ask it to forgive me. My stomach had years of bloating, gas, stomach aches. I was very hard on the stomach for making me feel fat and uncomfortable. I already knew the stomach would hold resistance. 

I said to myself "Everywhere the stomach is blocked for love and forgiveness, we release it and let it go. We are ready to move forward right here, right now! I love and forgive  my stomach and my stomach loves and forgives me. We are ready to stop addictions now!". I wasn't clearing love for my stomach quickly. I put my stomach down for 35 years. I was blaming it for being bloated, looking fat and not being able to wear the clothes I wanted to wear.
I asked if I was cleared from my step dad. I wasn't. I was getting frustrated....He was only around for a 1 year. I didn't think he left much of an impression. What came to my mind was, my dad died when I was 3. I always wanted my dad or a dad. My step dad who was only around for 1 year never showed me any love. He didn't play with play the way I envisioned. He left me just like my dad and he didn't say good bye!

I repeated "What would it take to let my step dad go?  Everything blocking the step dad I let it go now!  What will it take for the stomach to let it go? Everything in the way of loving my stomach, I release you and let you go! I repeated this about 20 times until I was free of it?